My G(o) O(n) A(nd) L(augh) S

Everyone needs to have goals...and I've decided that I'm no different, especially with the dawning of a brand new year. So...as little and as insignificant as these goals may seem, I'm going to meet them. Eventually. Hopefully.

Goal 1: Learn the entire choreography to Beyonce's Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)

I understand that this isn't a totally original goal, especially since half of the United States

has uploaded a video of themselves doing/trying/failing miserably onto YouTube. And most would say that I'm really not that talented in the dance arts department. But that's not important to me. I'm going to channel my inner 'Yonce and learn the entire damn thing. That's right..all the prancing, ground-punching, and ring-finger shimmying.

Goal 2: Hold my purse and random accessory like a celebrity

I've noticed recently (while clicking through thousands of pictures of celebrities on Perez Hilton's site) that most female celebrities have a specific way of holding their purses and cell phones/lattes/cigarettes which somehow makes them look infinetly more fabulous than I. It starts with a massive bag worth more than my first year of grad school, crammed with God-knows-what. Then, said celebrity carries the bag in the crook of her arm while holding the phone/latte/cigarettes nonchalantly in the same hand. It makes ones arm look like it could be dead from the weight of the purse, but oh no, its clinging to an mobile for dear life. It makes these ladies look as though they're so busy and important that they have to be juggling all their possessions in their hands instead of just walking down the street like a normal person. I am a relatively normal person (and incredibly not busy) so I think I'll take up this pose to spice up my image a little. At least people might think I could get a call from a potential employer at any moment.

Goal 3: Work up the nerve to order these kicks

I'll just put this out there...I like flashy tennis shoes. My everyday personal style is somewhat eclectic, but doesn't often afford me the opportunity to wear crazy shoes. Neither does the fact that I'm supposed to be buying "grown-up" clothes. Well, F-that. I'm over it. My new goal...buy these bitches: http://www.eukicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/n_wmns_dunk_low_01.jpg

I know this isn't exactly the shoe choice of most caucasian young adult women...but like I said before, F-that.

Goal 4: Be a DJ

If you laughed when you read this one all I have to say is "Don't be hatin'." Who hasn't wanted to play their IPod and have hundreds (ok maybe just dozens) of people grooving to what you consider "your jams?" Yeah. I didn't think you'd want to pass that up. I've also decided to make up my DJ name a la the way you make up your stripper name. Except I'm going to use this formula: the name of the shampoo in my shower + my favorite McDonald's sandwich.

Say hello to DJ Herbal Essence Quarter Pounder.